Death is one aspect of life that can never be constructed independent of the culture and group of people who experience it and within which it occurred. According to the Civil Registration System in Nagaland annual report 2022, out of the total 3820 deaths registered in the state during 2022, 71.75% are male and 28.25% are female. The high percentage of male deaths means there is an equally high number of females becoming widows, which is an unwelcome development.
As widows move through their own experiences of grief, loss, or trauma after the death of a spouse, they may also face multiple and conflicting social challenges. Their status is defined by a diverse group of interrelated and intersectional factors – social, religious, cultural as well as economic, all of which not only isolate them from their families and community, but also leave them responsible for the care and support of their children. The life of an individual is governed by certain socio-cultural norms which determine a person’s social standing as well as purpose and function in life. Developed over centuries, these socio-cultural norms are mainly responsible for the subordination of women within the family.
In India the gender dimensions are much stronger than in most other countries and mostly affect more women. There are at least 40 million widows in India, probably more (after Pandemic) and probably more than 50 thousand widows in Nagaland. It is well known that widows tend to face many difficulties and deprivations because of negative social attitudes towards them and social restrictions that are placed upon them and their activities. They are subject to patriarchal customs, religious laws and widespread discrimination in inheritance rights. Many suffer abuse and exploitation at the hands of family members, often in the context of property disputes. Traditionally, widowhood in Naga society has been characterized by certain distinct and deplorable social norms.
Widows: The word widow in Greek (Chera) comes from the Indo-European root ghe, which means ‘forsaken’ or ‘left empty’. The Hebrew word for ‘widow’ is ‘almanah’ its root word alem, ‘unable to speak’. In common usage a ‘widow’ is a woman who has lost husband by death, has not remarried. A single event that dramatically changes the calendar, the friendship network, the outlook of the future, connection with the children’s, the appearance, the emotions, the theology, social status etc.
Becoming a widow is not what one wants to be or by choice but it happens. Their emotions upon becoming a widow have an intensity experiences grief, loneliness, anger, disappointment are not a new emotions to them but facing the new environment where two became one and now every aspect of their life changes whether like it or not, ready or not.
Identity: The concise Oxford Dictionary defines ‘Identity’ as “The quality or condition of being a specified person or thing” or “Individuality, personality” or “Identification or the result of it” or “The state of being the same in substances nature, qualities, etc absolute sameness. According to C. Larka, “Identity in general is understood as a set of external features and internal traits which, negatively, distinguish an individual, or group of people from others and positively, render uniqueness through specific characteristics. This is the reason why even identical twins have plenty of similarities.” These two definitions show us that ‘identity’ is something that shows uniqueness of a person or group etc, and distinguish it from others.
Status: The status and role of the widows in social, economic, political and religious is seen low, even though some changes and support for widows have been implemented still we see very less widows in political, social and even in religious area. On the other side there is gender issue where people does not want to throw away the patriarchal thought and still wants to continue the customary laws, oral texts (Proverbs, myths), taboos, widows re-marriage etc. All these offer a totally grim reality where an inherent gender bias is the order of the lives of widows in Naga Society.
Biblical support: The widow is the embodiment of peculiar poverty and indigence; in the NT the word may also denote a certain standing in the community. Generosity, one of Jesus teachable moments with his followers occurred when, in Jewish tradition during worship, each person walked to the receptacle where tithes and offerings were deposited. Front and centre, conspicuous, the offerings of all were watched and heard.
Luke 21:1-4 the widow’s two copper coins is a small fraction of about one sixty-fourth of a denarius, she had in the world; and it was this splendid generosity on the part of the poor solitary widow which won the Lord’s praise, which has touched the hearts of so many generations since, which has stirred up in so many hearts and admiration of an act so strangely beautiful, but well-nigh inimitable. In the face of God he does not look how many tithes or offerings have been given rather he accepts those given with whole heart like the widow. God is a special friend of the broken hearted, where in Him even the pain can be sanctified. A healthy and positive acceptance of widowhood leads to happiness in life. Trust in God is a great source of strength.
Challenges: Women in North East are given more right to freedom unlike other states in India. While Haimendorf notes, “many women in more civilized parts of India may well envy the women of the Naga Hills, their high status and their free and happy life and if you measure the cultural level of the people by the social position and personal freedom of its women you will think twice before looking down on the Nagas”. Among the Naga community often women’s are seen as powerful and uplifting the society but on the other side there is a bigger issue where people don’t think much about giving importance to the widow’s. Being from the tribal and indigenous even today people have the patriarchal practices and thoughts where the widows struggle to fight for their own rights. Widowhood presents a difficult time in a woman’s life, especially when compounded with a diminished ability to meet financial needs, a Widows in every society face multiple and conflicting social challenges. The voices of the widow are often suppressed. When the husband dies half of the property and household are often divided among the late husband’s family or others. The widows are also not given much privilege and often face neglection in political participation as well as in church leadership and organizations.
A woman’s identity is linked with someone’s daughter as a maiden and someone’s wife when she marries. It would appear that the widow, from the moment she loses her husband, loses in a way her identity, and importance in her own home. It is well known that widows tend to face many difficulties and deprivations because of negative social attitudes towards them and social restrictions that are placed upon them and their activities. They are subject to patriarchal customs, religious laws and widespread discrimination in inheritance rights. Many suffer abuse and exploitation at the hands of family members, often in the context of property disputes Concluding Remark: Widows have no age limit; there are widows both young and old, literate and illiterate, dependent and independent.
There are various categories with different capacities at varied levels. When we view the life style of the widow it is seen that some of them are able to lead lives however, majority of them suffer and experience hardship in terms of financial, shelter, child rearing, etc. they encounter many hardship like the society, family and dealing with neighbours, or underestimate, discrimination, regardless of their identity, having attitude that a women who does not have husband are insure. This kind of motives and attitude makes the widow to feel helpless and develop low esteem.
Therefore it is important to listen to the voice and needs of the widows. The government and public must give social support to the widow because through social support it can help boost resilience in people who face adversity. Social support is an important function of social relationships. On the other hand, the church also needs to play a vital role in supporting the widows for their upliftment rather than neglecting. The society being responsible citizens should respond adequately to accept as who they are.
Widows should also face courageously the adversities of life and not to give up but stand firm, raise a voice for own rights. They should also move forward to take part in all the functions (social, political and religious) and should be an agent of change for the future generation. The Society should also accept the widows who are facing the bereavement of life and accompany them in their pain and encourage them to face the realities of life. Accept, appreciate and recognize their hard work in up bringing their children. Widows should be encouraged to participate in the functions in society as well as the auspicious occasions. Society should promote the safety and security of widows by treating them as one among them.
Markala Ao
M.Th in Missiology
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